Have you transcended your previous self? No, neither has Tash York, but it seems that despite not being quite as destructive as her early 20s wine-fuelled self, she still has a very close relationship with wine. Ahead of the opening of Tash’s latest Fringe offering, Winefulness, on Wednesday, February 5, MELISSA KRUGER found out more about ‘winefulness’ by having a few vinos with Tash as they sussed out whether winefulness or mindfulness is the answer to those everyday conundrums we all face from time to time.
OK Tash… We’ll start with an easy one. You have just finished your last bottle of wine and the shops are closed…
I don’t understand the question… there is no such thing as a last bottle of wine? What do you think I am, an amateur!? But in all seriousness, there are actually apps that can deliver wine to your house these days, and over the weekends they’re 24 hours. Also, living in Melbourne, if I’m really desperate there is a 24/7 bottlo in St Kilda which is only 30 minutes from my house, so… There is never a last bottle of wine. I mean, I don’t live in Melbourne for the weather, do I? Anyway, winefulness wins this one!
Fair enough! Next one: you have just come home to find that your cat has spewed up in your favourite pair of shoes…
Oh, this would include a combo of both. Mindfulness to be able to deal with the cat spew (it really stinks sometimes), and then some wine afterwards to celebrate that I cleaned it up… and if cleaning it up didn’t work then drinking wine and shopping online for new ones. And a new cat. I’m kidding, I love my two little kitties. But, in all honesty, it’s never a bad time for more cats… or more shoes.
Mmm… You’ve spilt coffee on your white shirt on the way to a job interview, and you’re running late…
What is a job? I’m an artist! Just kidding. I’m going to kinda hijack this question and say that every artist you ever see that is independent is working their asses off in at least one to three jobs to make their art happen. So, if you love someone – support then with merch, ticket sales and/or their crowdfunding, or Patreon…
Why yes, I have a Patreon, so glad you asked! Get rewards or merch for supporting the arts! It’s not hard.
But anyway, answering the question… change shirts! As a Fringe performer, you’re conditioned to be ready for anything! Sometimes the mic doesn’t work, or the music, or the lights. We are always prepared for those things! A white shirt for a job interview – bitchhhhh! We already have a black and a navy one ready for backups! We know how to fix a last-minute issue… Usually cos we got free wine from the venue.. so, I guess… Winefulness?
Let’s up the ante. Your fiancé has just told you to calm down in the middle of an argument…
So, what I need everyone to understand is that my fiancé is actually the most patient man in the world. He’s also quite smart and realises that the best way to win with me is by making sure I’m drunk first. HOWEVER, if this did happen and I was sober, I would definitely need to practice some serious mindfulness.
Touché! Last one Tash. You are maid of honour at your best friend’s wedding. She’s turned into Bridezilla because the makeup artist got her makeup wrong, her hair is a flop, one of the other bridesmaids has spilt wine on her wedding dress AND the limo driver just called to say he has broken down on the way to pick you up…
I have had experience with this sort of thing once before, but I was actually the “maid of dishonour.” Go figure! If I were in that situation – more wine is the only answer baby! Oh, and we could probably find an Uber to replace the limo driver. I could attempt to fix the hair and make up myself (MORE GLITTER) and get her drunker so she didn’t care about the wedding dress…. Maybe we could even turn the whole dress red with more wine? Although, apparently white wine fixes red wine stains. Did you know this? I personally haven’t tried it.
