Review: Death of a Unicorn – Jurassic Park on uppers

Directed by Alex Scharfman
Starring Paul Rudd, Jenna Ortega, Richard E. Grant, Tèa Leoni, Will Poulter

7/10

Greed is always humanity’s downfall in monster movies. The lab technician in Jurassic Park that steals the canister. The mayor in Jaws that refuses to close the beaches. Greed is our hubris, and Death of a Unicorn is no exception, as a wealthy pharmaceutical family attempts to exploit the mythical creature for its magical healing properties. But just like Godzilla and the T-Rex, the unicorn fights back—and this is one vindictive unicorn.

Try-hard dad Elliott (Paul Rudd) and goth teenage du jour Ridley (Jenna Ortega) are the father-daughter duo who foolishly bring the injured unicorn to the estate of Elliott’s billionaire employer. The Leopolds are a small but star-studded family of obnoxious patriarch Odell (Richard E. Grant), vacuous wife Belinda (Tèa Leoni), and frat boy heir Shep (Will Poulter), supported by much-maligned butler Griff (Anthony Carrigan).

Belinda and Shep get all the best comic lines, from Tèa Leoni confusing evacuating and vaccinating when discussing her philanthropic good deeds to Shep’s “diversified portfolio of interests” when asked what he does. These stereotypical ruthless and wealthy magnates are designed to be hated, and audiences instantly begin looking forward to their gory end at the horn of the predator.

A recurring theme is Elliott’s struggle with his ethics and life balance as he repeatedly capitulates to his employer in the hopes of securing a lucrative partnership and setting up his daughter’s financial security. It is a struggle many will recognise, yet it only pushes Ridley further away.

The film also makes commentary on our reliance on chemical substances (Shep attempting to snort, smoke, and shoot unicorn horn powder) and the privilege of healthcare for the wealthy, as the lifesaving substances are quickly auctioned off to the highest bidders. But don’t let these deeper issues fool you, as it really is just an entertaining bloodbath.

Unfortunately, Death of a Unicorn falls at the final hurdle and loses major points for its trite ending. No spoilers here, but it is just too neat a resolution for a dark comedy.

Death of a Unicorn is equal parts silly, hilarious, dark and gruesome. It is exactly what it says it will be. It is here to make you laugh and jump in your seat, not tax your brain. Jurassic Park for grown-ups.

MELISSA MANN