Cruel Intentions: The ’90s Musical @ Regal Theatre
Thursday, August 25, 2022
Can you sing the next line to these songs?
“I’m a genie in a bottle baby, you gotta …”
“A scrub is a guy who can’t get no…”
“And I don’t want the world to see me…”
“Now it’s a bittersweet…”
If you now find yourself singing Christina Aguilera, TLC, The Goo Goo Dolls, or The Verve, then Cruel Intentions: The ’90s Musical is the show for you.
Following the general plot of the 1999 movie, wealthy spoilt step siblings Sebastian and Kathryn make a bet to seduce the virtuous Annette and destroy the new girl Cecile. The characters quickly become entangled in a web of manipulation, temptation, lust and revenge. However recall of the movie is not required to enjoy the show.
The highlight of the show is the wicked interactions between Kathryn (Kirby Burgess) and Sebastian (Drew Weston). The teasing lines and provocative poses keep the pulse racing between these two. They nailed the onstage chemistry.
Burgess’s Kathryn is a standout evil b**ch. Her arrogance and manipulation are evident in every movement, her voice is killer, and her costuming is spot on with the tightest corset and pants possible (how could she dance in that we wondered?).
Weston’s introductory song Every Me and Every You sets up the cool, charming, spoiled Sebastian perfectly.
Kelsey Halge has a much more difficult character to portray with innocent yet independent Annette Hargrove. Halge said that “Annette is sweet and warm, but also incredibly strong and determined. She knows what she wants, she knows what she doesn’t – and it is a privilege to be able to bring that to the stage every night.” As every actor will tell you, it is easier to play the villain than the nice girl, and unfortunately Halge’s heavy makeup, girl-power song choices and throaty voice did not convince this reviewer that Annette was all innocence and purity.
Euan Fistrovic Doidge and Joseph Spanti, as the gay couple Blaine and Greg, were brilliant together too. While the language at the start was derogatory (as it often was in the 90s), they were so much fun to watch together with duets of Candy, Kiss Me, Sex and Candy, Sometimes, and Bye Bye Bye. Doidge has an excellent singing voice, so it was a shame to hide it under the higher-pitched camp character voice.
The relationship that let the story down was Sebastian and Annette. Not enough time was given showcasing the love developing between them, so that when he does fall in love and change his ways, the audience remains dubious and unconvinced. Similarly, the audience did not fall for Annette either, so we then lacked the emotional investment to cheer Annette to victory.
Cruel Intentions: The ’90s Musical won the audiences’ heart because it doesn’t take itself too seriously. Similarly to Mamma Mia, the ABBA musical, they know that no one is winning a Tony while singing No Scrubs (A hilarious rendition by Fem Belling and Rishab Kern as Ronald attempts to convince Mrs Caldwell that he is not a ‘Scrub’), but embrace it fully because it brings the audience joy. It plays to its comic moments, such as cheesy boy band dance moves for Bye Bye Bye, a crowd favourite judging by the cheers and laughter of the audience. The *NSYNC choreography was top notch and congratulations to the dancers for keeping a straight face. This reviewer certainly had flashbacks watching Fem Belling as Mrs Caldwell rocking around the lounge room with a discman belting out Shania Twain.
When asked about her favourite song, Kelsey Halge shared that “The band (lead by Daniel Puckey) is on stage with the cast, lifting the energy of the show – especially in Annette’s introductory song, Just A Girl (No Doubt).”
Halge felt that it is “a mix of grunge and bubble-gum pop. It’s not just a jukebox musical, as each song is written in there to really help progress the story – either elevating the comedy or enhancing the emotion.” Cruel Intentions has selected its songs carefully and leans towards the darker ’90s hits. There is no mmm-bopping here.
The show has small errors that could be easily improved. The neon set fills the stage with energy and moves fast, but the click-clack of the brakes on each stage piece was distracting. Also why do this super wealthy family drink champagne in plastic wine glasses? Please someone buy them decent glassware so we can hear the ‘clink.’
A fun show to see with your friends. Snap pants and butterfly hair-clips are optional.
Getting amped up? Check out the Spotify playlist to see if your favourite ’90s song is featured, or rediscover a long lost lyrical memory. Cruel Intentions: The ’90s Musical is at the Regal Theatre until Saturday, September 3, with tickets available now.
MELISSA MANN
Photos by Nicole Cleary
