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PSYCHEDELIC PORN CRUMPETS 5 Reasons to kick on with your mates


Ahead of major UK and US tour dates, Perth’s own Psychedelic Porn Crumpets have released their first single for 2019. Keen for Kick Ons?, the follow up to last year’s attention grabbing Social Candy, encapsulates the heady, swirling energy they’ve been consistently refining over the last few years. In an X-Press exclusive to celebrate the release, the Porn Crumpets have compiled their ‘5 Reasons to kick on with your mates’…

1. Variety – If you’re heading out then the 12pm curfew seems more of a challenge than a lock out time, especially if you live in Sydney, I feel for you New South Whalers. In Perth they’ve opened up a few great little bars that carry on till the wee morning hours and that’s where you usually find the rest of your slurred worded comrades. It would be a shame to head home early and not visit multiple establishments.

2. Conversation – Post 12pm is the time of mental deliberation. Do penguins have knees? Is the universe a simulation? Why didn’t Gandalf just use the eagles. Why Gandalf?! It’s only in these life defining moments where your tongue decides to take on its own consciousness and fires out paradoxical puzzles that perplexes the best of us. It can also get you in a lot of trouble so tame that throat wobbler. Have a glass of water every now and again.

3. Ideas – Carrying on from number two – Hunter S. Thompson once said “When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.” And it’s true, a late night rant with a new friend usually ends up in some sort of ridiculous venture, or adventure for that matter. A few Martinis later and you’re going into business with a Norwegian backpacker selling canned air to sherpas. Or with any luck you’ve organised a jam with the other long haired mortal and your musical career awaits!

4. Time – It would be sad to be one of those statistics that sleep for a third of their life. Imagine if humans invented something that keeps you awake for extended periods and all you want to do is dance like a Disney animation – side effects include a slanted jaw but also a new appreciation for drum and bass music, it’s really up to you how you spend your nights. But we can all agree nobody wants to see you become a statistic.

5. Day Beers – Ah yes, the sun rises, the birds chirp away as one eye twitches for sight under the enormity of sleep, you’re about to slide another meter down the sofa until an angelic whisper of “nuther?” hits you ear like ‘Walkies’ to a dog. You crack the frothy as if it’s a talent and sip that sweet, sweet nectar. It’s bonding like this that makes you appreciate a blue morning, a salty dip and the excitement of spending another day with liver minded individuals who cherish laughter as much as you. Ah to be alive!

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