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BEST OF BOLSKOVIA First impressions of Perth


The small Eastern European nation of Bolskovia has had a troubled past, with decades of political corruption, organised crime and poverty. The only shining light through these troublesome times, has always been the Bolskovian’s deep rooted love of comedy, which has become a staple of most Bolskovian traditions and a huge part of their culture. This is why Bolskovia is known as the ‘Jester of the Eastern Block’. This Fringe marks the first time Bolskovian comedians have made the pilgrimage to Western Australia, and they’re set to share the stories of their homeland at The Craft – Beer and Cider Garden from Thursday, February 13 until Sunday, February 16. As you might expect, they’re as perplexed as they are impressed by what they’ve encountered upon arriving here, but one of their own, Don T’Slagovabich, has been kind enough to reflect on that with their “first impressions of Perth.”

Food

Perth has so much food, you people squeeze food sellers everywhere. I went to big green hardware store and out front you have street urchins selling sausage on bread. So many food places, and you have sense of humour about it in Australia, like I went to your China “town” in Northbridge, it’s an alleyway, it’s not town, very funny. My favourite would have to be Red Rooster, which was delicious, but false advertising because it look like brown chicken.

Perth

Your city is so big and colourful. So futuristic. So many TV’s; I walk to one venue, giant TV, walk around corner, giant TV, walk to another venue, giant TV, walk to Yagan Square you have sticks that make giant TV. In Bolskovia, we have one TV and one VCR we share (with people who have electros (sic) to their homes) and we have one glorious VHS tape, Batman Forever, greatest movie made ever.

I also love the architecture of Perth, you have RAC Arena. It looks like the architects couldn’t decide on shape so they used all of them, and now it looks like a big blue fancy cake, very pretty.

People

So many pretty people in Perth, and the women, holy moly. I’ve met some beautiful women here that are like 24-25 and still look attractive. In Bolskovia most women who are 24 or older look mean, very mean, like they want to rip off dick. Australia is very much the lucky country.

FRINGE WORLD

Fringe is amazing, so many amazing acts that I have not seen before. My belly aches daily with so much laughter, it is very inspiring. So many burlesque acts, dancing to wonderful music, and magicians! Magic is outlawed in Bolskovia but at Fringe you have many sorcerers in the Fringe guide. I don’t know if I’m brave enough to see it, I’m scared they will turn me into Red Rooster, and nobody want to be a brown chicken.

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